Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Need a Hero

Yesterday we finally resumed our weekly Bible study at church. We are currently studying the book "Captivating". We had a great and fun first day back, as we discussed our childhoods favorites. It was great to think back to those days...

As I read this book one of the greatest mysteries of my life is being explained to me. You see, when I started liking boys I seemed to gravitate to the "rebels", I wanted the boys that my mom didn't approve of, the ones I had to sneak around with to date and til this day my mom is always asking me why. I didn't know why...

One of my favorite movies growing up was Grease, I loved it! I had the soundtrack and listened to it over and over. I loved Danny and all the hoods. I also loved Fonzi, from Happy Days, he was so cool to me.

In seven grade I remember riding the bus and I noticed this tall, blonde guy and my heart skipped a beat when he actually spoke to me. That day I decided I like Johnny, everybody else called him John but he was Johnny to me. He was the guy in school that all the boys feared, all the girls wanted to date and he was SO cool and of course, so goodlooking! My mom didn't like Johnny AT ALL. SO my answer was to sneak around with him. We dated on and off from the end of 7th to the middle of 9th. He was my Fonzi or my Danny. He wasn't afraid of a fight and he stepped in when a guy at school was harrassing me. The boy never spoke to me again after that. I remember one night I met him at the beach and we were talking with his friends who were spewing filthy words every breath...he put his arm around me and said, "HEY! Don't talk like that around my girl!" Can you see me swooning? I did! Believe me!

But Johnny had a dark side, he hid it from me, but it was there. I heard tales of him doing drugs and cheating on me constantly. He would deny it all but looking back on it I knew it was true but I wanted that excitement, I loved the feeling I had when I was around him, that feeling of protection, the way my heart fell to my feet when I saw him, the way he treated me like I was so special when we together, the way he would throw his arm around me and we were "the" couple, ya know, it was all rather romantic, for the most part, as we were Romeo and Juliet, of course ;)

Then came the breakup, we were at the beach one night, he broke up with me and I was so angry at him! He already had a girl waiting for him in a nearby car. I pushed him and HE PUSHED ME BACK. My head hit a light pole and I looked up at him with tears and stars in my eyes and I could see the look on his face was one of regret but before he could say anything, another guy came from nowhere, grabbed his arm and said,"I better not EVER see you do that again!" And he just held onto Johnny's arm and as I looked in Johnny's eyes, I saw fear there. WOW! Meet my new hero, who as it turned out was the local drug dealer, he was WAY too old for me and he actually lied to ME about his age. I'm not going to say his name because frankly this relationship is a complete embarrassment to me now. I will say however that during this time that he never exposed me to them and threatened all the kids in our school that he would beat them up if they ever gave me drugs. I found all this out later from a guy on the bus that had always been a real jerk to me but one day he said, Erika, I'm really worried about you because..... And he told me, he begged me not to ever tell my boyfriend who told me because he would beat this guy up. Wow, I wish I could say I broke up with him at that point, but, I didn't. I was in 9th grade and too stupid to see clearly, I was addicted to the game, the game of sneaking around, I was addicted to the adventure and the romance of it all. And I was incredibly naive, I believed him when he told me that he didn't deal drugs...but luckily I noticed David one day (he was the only guy I ever dated that my parents approved of! lol) and that was the end of that guy. Whew!

In 1984, when I was 15 a song came out that explainrd me to a T! It was "I Need a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler. I played that song over and over again, loudly, and I recall dancing and spinning around the room with stardust in my eyes! I truly wanted a hero! Someone that would save me like I was a damsel in distress. One that was fresh from the fight; one that was larger than life. What I ended up with were criminals. It turns out that Johnny married that girl waiting in the car for him and one night he beat her to a pulp. When she left him finally, he shot himself to try to bring her, scary. He is now, from what I hear, a crackhead with so many kids that I've lost count. I was so close to being that girl. The other guy, I see him occasionally, I think he's straightened his life out but he ruined so many young kids lives in our area before he did...definitely neither of these guys were ever "Hero" material.

I now know that I've found my true hero and He can outdo all other heroes! I've found the one good man, I've found the street wise Hercules to fight the rising odds. I have my white knight upon a fiery steed. He is strong, He is fast, He's sure, He's soon and He's definitely larger than life! He's always reaching back for me. He's definitely a superman and He's definitely swept me off my feet! His name is Jesus and He is somewhere watching me, protecting me, guiding me, loving me, He actually died for me and He is the only hero we need! He was always there, He was always just a prayer away...

Thank you Jesus for being my hero and thank you Father for loving me no matter the cost! Photobucket

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Answered Prayers

I had to write today because last night I had the most miraculous thing happen....

In Sunday School, our teens are praying the Jabez Prayer for a prayer pal whose name they drew in class this past sunday. Last night, it hit me that my son, who's in the class, hasn't been praying for his prayer pal. So, I did what I've always said I wouldn't do and I asked him about it. I feel that the other kids don't get this special treatment at home so, I shouldn't give my own son that special treatment...however, I really want him to learn that verse and prayer!! So, I broke my rules and I talked to him about the prayer. We spoke of all the many miracles I have encountered with it. He said the prayer for his prayer pal and we both tried to recite it...I won ;). It was rather funny as he was amazed that I knew it, which is hilarious because I've been reciting that prayer to myself for months now! LOL Anyway, I tuck him in and say goodnight.

I then head to the garage. In the garage we have an old desk and chair, where I sit and read alot. I'll take a glass of drink, a book and go read several time during the day and night. It's like my break spot I guess. So, after tucking both kids in bed, I get a glass of milk, my book and head to the garage. My cat runs frantically in the house just as I open the door. I pay her no mind, head to the chair, sit down and preceed to read. (I'm currently reading a book that actually belongs to my son and it's not bad for a kids book :)

The door opens, out walks my husband who stops adruptly and says, "Someone is going to get hurt out here!" HUH? What is he talking about? Shaking his head he points to the floor and there on the floor is a HUGE pile of shattered glass. Someone had evidently left a glass outside and my cat had knocked it off the desk, where it shattered in a million shards. I looked down at the path that I had to take to get to my chair, I looked under my chair, and I looked under the desk...HOW IN THE WORLD DID I WALK THAT WAY AND NOT STEP ON GLASS? My husband and I shook our heads, I'm not exactly sure how I didn't cut my feet wide open getting to the chair. It was hard to manuever once I knew it was there to not get cut. I checked myself to be sure and there were no cuts anywhere. How did I not see the glass? How did I not get cut? Good grief what if it had been a snake?!?! lol

As we cleaned up the glass I started thinking about the prayer my son and I had just uttered not even five minutes before I stepped out of that door. Wow, talk about an answered prayer!! AND I had to break my rules to do it...hmmmm, I don't know what to make of that one but I do know that I'm sure glad that I said that prayer and I'm oh so thankful that God's hand (and feet apparently) was with me as I walked out of that door :)

May the Lord bless you indeed, may He enlarge your territory, may His hand always be with you! May He keep you from evil, so that you will not cause pain, In Jesus Name I pray, AMEN!

PS!! While I was writing this, the phone rang! It was Rusty saying that he has another interview at the phone company in the morning!! Thank you Jesus!!! And thank you for always blessing us INDEED!!!!


Thursday, September 3, 2009


As most of you know my husband has been out of work since April. It's been trying at times but not too bad. God has provided and He's used this time to teach me so much. He has truly taught me the lesson that HE is the provider and Oh, how He loves us. How faithful He is! We've only had one month where we were worried about paying bills. I have learned to lean on HIM more, to trust Him and just to know that He is in control. I've told my husband the whole time that if it's God's will, he'll get this job or that job. My faith remained strong, my joy was in tact, I truly wasn't worried about it. I was just trusting.

Well, my husband was called to the local phone company to do an interview. He made it through to the third round, there's only the fourth to go. I was so excited about this prospect and truly thought THIS is God's best for my husband! This job brings great pay, great benefits, a place to grow and move up. This has to be the job we've been waiting for! God has saved the best for last! The way it all came about was another God-incident. If Rusty hadn't applied at a local computer repair center, his resume wouldn't have been looked at. It just felt RIGHT, it felt like God's doing.

Rusty was told that they would call him the first of this week...they haven't called. I've been fine during this whole process until yesterday. Yesterday is officially the middle of the week and as the day progressed and all the well meaning people kept asking me if we'd heard anything...well, my hope left me. I finally saw for the first time that what if this isn't what God wants for Rusty? What if he doesn't get the job? What if, what if...I fell like a sack of bricks. God kept saying to me, don't you trust Me? Why don't you trust Me? I was overwhelmed with worry, overwhelmed with fear and just plain not trusting Him.

A friend called me last night to see if we wanted some lasagna for our supper. Lasagna is my favorite all time food. I LOVE lasagna!! LOVE IT!! It was such a sweet thing for her to do. She brought it to me and she was even in her pajamas! I started talking to her about my problems and what I was feeling. Just out of nowhere, just bowled her over with them. She didn't even see it coming, lol. Somehow me telling her what the Lord had been asking all just hit me and stuck. It was like the Lord had personally sent me lasagna and a friend to listen just so I could get over it. Just so I could truly give it to Him and NOT take it back.

We still haven't heard anything but I know now that if this isn't the job that the Lord has for Rusty, God is still in control. He won't let us down. He knows all and His ways aren't our ways. If Rusty doesn't get this job who knows the mercy that's just been extended to us? We won't be able to see it of course, but I believe that it will be mercy and not rejection.

Oh Lord, I thank You for Your patience and Your faithfulness! I thank You for guiding us and for Your provision. I praise You for Your unending mercy and Your neverending blessings! Lord, help me to cling to You no matter the outcome, use it to make Rusty and me stronger in our faith and us to see Your loving grace all around us. In Jesus Name I pray, AMEN!