Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I Need a Hero

Yesterday we finally resumed our weekly Bible study at church. We are currently studying the book "Captivating". We had a great and fun first day back, as we discussed our childhoods favorites. It was great to think back to those days...

As I read this book one of the greatest mysteries of my life is being explained to me. You see, when I started liking boys I seemed to gravitate to the "rebels", I wanted the boys that my mom didn't approve of, the ones I had to sneak around with to date and til this day my mom is always asking me why. I didn't know why...

One of my favorite movies growing up was Grease, I loved it! I had the soundtrack and listened to it over and over. I loved Danny and all the hoods. I also loved Fonzi, from Happy Days, he was so cool to me.

In seven grade I remember riding the bus and I noticed this tall, blonde guy and my heart skipped a beat when he actually spoke to me. That day I decided I like Johnny, everybody else called him John but he was Johnny to me. He was the guy in school that all the boys feared, all the girls wanted to date and he was SO cool and of course, so goodlooking! My mom didn't like Johnny AT ALL. SO my answer was to sneak around with him. We dated on and off from the end of 7th to the middle of 9th. He was my Fonzi or my Danny. He wasn't afraid of a fight and he stepped in when a guy at school was harrassing me. The boy never spoke to me again after that. I remember one night I met him at the beach and we were talking with his friends who were spewing filthy words every breath...he put his arm around me and said, "HEY! Don't talk like that around my girl!" Can you see me swooning? I did! Believe me!

But Johnny had a dark side, he hid it from me, but it was there. I heard tales of him doing drugs and cheating on me constantly. He would deny it all but looking back on it I knew it was true but I wanted that excitement, I loved the feeling I had when I was around him, that feeling of protection, the way my heart fell to my feet when I saw him, the way he treated me like I was so special when we together, the way he would throw his arm around me and we were "the" couple, ya know, it was all rather romantic, for the most part, as we were Romeo and Juliet, of course ;)

Then came the breakup, we were at the beach one night, he broke up with me and I was so angry at him! He already had a girl waiting for him in a nearby car. I pushed him and HE PUSHED ME BACK. My head hit a light pole and I looked up at him with tears and stars in my eyes and I could see the look on his face was one of regret but before he could say anything, another guy came from nowhere, grabbed his arm and said,"I better not EVER see you do that again!" And he just held onto Johnny's arm and as I looked in Johnny's eyes, I saw fear there. WOW! Meet my new hero, who as it turned out was the local drug dealer, he was WAY too old for me and he actually lied to ME about his age. I'm not going to say his name because frankly this relationship is a complete embarrassment to me now. I will say however that during this time that he never exposed me to them and threatened all the kids in our school that he would beat them up if they ever gave me drugs. I found all this out later from a guy on the bus that had always been a real jerk to me but one day he said, Erika, I'm really worried about you because..... And he told me, he begged me not to ever tell my boyfriend who told me because he would beat this guy up. Wow, I wish I could say I broke up with him at that point, but, I didn't. I was in 9th grade and too stupid to see clearly, I was addicted to the game, the game of sneaking around, I was addicted to the adventure and the romance of it all. And I was incredibly naive, I believed him when he told me that he didn't deal drugs...but luckily I noticed David one day (he was the only guy I ever dated that my parents approved of! lol) and that was the end of that guy. Whew!

In 1984, when I was 15 a song came out that explainrd me to a T! It was "I Need a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler. I played that song over and over again, loudly, and I recall dancing and spinning around the room with stardust in my eyes! I truly wanted a hero! Someone that would save me like I was a damsel in distress. One that was fresh from the fight; one that was larger than life. What I ended up with were criminals. It turns out that Johnny married that girl waiting in the car for him and one night he beat her to a pulp. When she left him finally, he shot himself to try to bring her, scary. He is now, from what I hear, a crackhead with so many kids that I've lost count. I was so close to being that girl. The other guy, I see him occasionally, I think he's straightened his life out but he ruined so many young kids lives in our area before he did...definitely neither of these guys were ever "Hero" material.

I now know that I've found my true hero and He can outdo all other heroes! I've found the one good man, I've found the street wise Hercules to fight the rising odds. I have my white knight upon a fiery steed. He is strong, He is fast, He's sure, He's soon and He's definitely larger than life! He's always reaching back for me. He's definitely a superman and He's definitely swept me off my feet! His name is Jesus and He is somewhere watching me, protecting me, guiding me, loving me, He actually died for me and He is the only hero we need! He was always there, He was always just a prayer away...

Thank you Jesus for being my hero and thank you Father for loving me no matter the cost! Photobucket


  1. Hi Erika. How did you get your signature to use at the end of each of your posts? Please email me and let me know if you can

    Thanks so much!

  2. Wow! God is amazing, isn't He? And now this book........I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Love you!

  3. Thank you Nita! God is SO good and He just keeps opening my eyes in new ways.